Into the Abyss

It's scary, scary to even see your life turning out the way you wouldn't want it to turn out to.

I am so tired, tired. And I feel like giving up on everything. 

I just feel like vanishing all of a sudden in the air.

Then, I remember my mother, who has worked tirelessly to give me the life I deserve. She sacrificed her own needs and desires so her children could fulfill theirs.

And, here I am feeling helpless and worthless.

I don't know what made me like this, where did I go wrong to be like this, what did I do to turn out like this. 

Everything seems like falling apart and I feel helpless.

Everyone I see seems like they hate me, and my existence. 

Everything I touch feels out of place, everything just feels so disconnected.

All I can hear is the noises, the chaotic noises all over my head shouting, blaming, and pulling me all the way down into the abyss.

I don't want this!

I want to have a life, a life that's so fulfilling, a life that every breath asks for, a life where I could live freely, the way I want, a life where everything feels connected, a life where I could support and protect the ones I love, a life where I would be the happiest to be alive.